March 19th

If you have known me for more than five minutes, then you probably know about my son, Jonathan. I have two beautiful children---Jackson, who's 9, and Jonathan, who's 13. Both of them were born, to the best of our knowledge, healthy and normal. There was nothing out of the ordinary about pregnancy or birth with either one of them. However, in October of 1996, at the age of 4 1/2 months, Jonathan got sick. We lived in North Louisiana then. I had no idea how sick he was, or how sick he would become at that time. Aren't you glad God doesn't show you these things? I think that, if I had known what we were going to face, I probably would have just curled up in a corner somewhere, and stayed there until they came to take me away. Ignorance was bliss.

When I took him to the doctor, thinking that he had a virus, and might be a little dehydrated, she took one look at him and called an ambulance. When she came in to tell me that he needed to go to the hospital, my first response was, "No! He's not going!" When she told me that she thought he had internal bleeding, I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach. My husband is a pilot, and he was out of town on a trip that day. I had no idea where he even was at that moment. All I could do was get into survival mode, and do what needed to be done.

In the ambulance, the doctor kept asking me if I had dropped him, if he rolled off a bed, if I or my husband would ever hit him, or if a caregiver might have done something to him. The only thing I could think of was a bumpy airplane ride we had taken the day before, but she assured me that wouldn't have been the problem. We rode to the hospital, with the doctor giving him oxygen, and me wishing I could have some, too.

At the hospital, Jonathan was whisked away while I went to admitting for paperwork. When I left there, I had no idea where to go. I had never spent much time in a hospital, and didn't know there were different ICU's for newborns, children and adults. I found the adult ICU, sat down in the only chair available in the room, and started to cry. Not two seconds later, I heard the sweetest sound ever---my name. Someone there knew me! I looked up, and there, across the room, sat the mom of one of my dear friends. I quickly told her my story, and she told me I was in the wrong place. She loaned me money to call my sister, who was 30 minutes away, and my mom, who was two hours away. Then, she walked me to the Pediatric ICU, and she stayed with me, until my pastor arrived.

When the doctor came out with an X-ray in his hand, I was stunned. He told me that Jonathan did NOT have internal bleeding, but that he was in Congestive Heart Failure. What?! That's an old person's disease, right? My grandfather had that---not my 4 month old baby! But, it was definitely Congestive Heart Failure. Then, the doctor told me that he couldn't treat Jonathan there, and he would have to go to a hospital five hours away in New Orleans. So, a few hours later, I found myself sitting at the back of a small plane, with Jonathan being kept alive by a nurse and respiratory therapist pumping an Ambu Bag for him, on our way to a hospital in New Orleans. It was there that doctors first mentioned Jonathan and a heart transplant in the same sentence. I denied it would be necessary, thinking that, if I just believed HARD enough, God surely would just heal Jonathan with a supernatural *ZAP*! That didn't happen.

Fast forward to March 1997. I had watched Jonathan get sicker and sicker, refusing to believe that he would need any surgery. When he ended up in the hospital again, doctors told us that his only option was to be listed for transplant. By this time, we had changed doctors, and were now being seen at Texas Children's Hospital in Houston. Once Jonathan went back into the hospital, he didn't leave again until he got his new heart. At first, doctors thought he might be well enough to go home, but he took a bad turn. He was listed for transplant on March 14th---my mom-in-law's birthday. On March 18th, we were told that he needed to be on heart/lung bypass, because he wouldn't make it through the day without it. Doctors told us they had done everything they could, Jonathan was maxed out on all the medicines he could get, and ECMO had to be used. But we refused it. Then, they told us they could keep him comfortable, but that we should plan on it being just my husband and me again.

You remember that I didn't want Jonathan to have a transplant, right? Well, that was STILL what I was saying---that he wouldn't have to have a transplant, and that he would just be supernaturally healed! Thanks to my mom, I came to a very sobering realization that March 18th. What if God's way of healing Jonathan was WITH a transplant, using the medical knowledge and skills of doctors?! It was a real light-bulb moment for me. I quickly changed my "song and dance", and told God that it didn't matter to me HOW He healed my son---as long as He kept His promise that he WOULD heal him. Less than 45 minutes later, we got a phone call about an available heart. We accepted the gift we were being given with joy and trepidation. It was so hard, knowing that Jonathan's heart had to come from another child. Little did we know then, but that heart, from that precious little 22-month-old baby girl, would bring us so much joy. AND our experience with Jonathan would bind us together with some amazing people. Because of one act of kindness toward strangers, our donor family has blessed not only our family, but countless others that we have been able to bless over the last 13 years. Jonathan had his transplant on March 19th. That day will forever be a bittersweet day of celebration. We celebrate the life of our child, Jonathan, who is healthy and happy; and we celebrate Taylor Marie, whose life was cut short, but who gave us the most incredible gift. It's sadness mixed with joy.

Thank you Matt and Denise, for sharing Taylor's heart with us. I can assure you, we have taken good care of it, and will continue to do so! Thank you, too, for allowing us to share Jonathan's life with you. I want you to always see that something good did come out of a terrible tragedy. Jonathan is the most wonderful big brother, son, and grandson you can possibly imagine. He is a young man of great strength and character. He will lead his generation in something great.