Eating

Why is it that I eat when I'm stressed? I had a stressful evening, and was in a place where there was food---LOTS of food! So, what did I do? I ATE! And I didn't stop with a few crackers with some cheese, fruit and veggies. NO!! I dove right into the cookies and cupcakes. UGH!



It reminds me of the time I was in the hospital with Jonathan, about this time thirteen years ago. He and I were sitting together on the sofa in his room, when a doctor came in to check on him. Jonathan had lost lots of weight before his transplant, but afterward, because he felt better and because he was taking steroids, he was hungry ALL the time. So, this doctor came in, and there we sat, eating whatever was there. I was feeding my nerves, of course, and Jonathan was feeding his perpetual hunger. That doctor looked me square in the face and said, "You know, you don't have to eat every time Jonathan eats!" I was horrified and embarrassed, and really wanted to cry, but chose to laugh instead. But, I became acutely aware of how much I was eating while we were hospital-bound. I decided that the doctor was right, but I didn't really care at that point in time. Dieting would come later, when we were home, and I had more to do and better food choices. I have since also decided that, if a bag of powdered-sugar donuts was what it took to get me through the stress of a hospital stay, then I would enjoy every bite of them. I have also encouraged more than one mom to not worry so much about her diet while she was at the hospital with her child.



So, tonight, as I sat with friends and my boys, I enjoyed myself--a little too much perhaps---but I won't look back with regret. I can only look forward, learn from my mistakes, and plan better next time.