The lighter side of being a Heart Parent

One of the things I have learned about being a heart parent for 13+ years is that you have to find humor where you can sometimes. When your child is scared and sick, and you feel helpless and alone, sometimes the littlest things can make you laugh---HARD! So, here are a few that made me laugh then, and still make me smile now!

When Jonathan was about two years old, he had to have a heart catheterization. It was his quarterly heart cath and biopsy, so it was to be an all day affair. Somewhere along the way, he learned that trips to the hospital meant that he was going to have to be separated from Mom and Dad for a while, but that we would see him again soon. The separation was traumatic, and we all dreaded it. We were living in Omaha at the time, and had had the heart cath done by the same guy several times. This time was no different---the separation was traumatic. However, the post-procedure time was almost as traumatic. Jonathan had been given a sedative that he was sensitive to, and he was hallucinating, which was amusing. He would look at me funny, then squeeze his eyes shut, like he was trying to get them to work right. Then, he'd open his eyes just a little, to see if I was still there, then shut them again. At one point, he was swatting the air, like he was waving a fly out of his face. When he woke up one time, he decided it was time to go! He tried to sit up, but just flopped back onto the pillow. Then he looked at me and said, "Maa-maa, Iiii neeeeeed mmyy ssshhhh.....ssshhhh...." Then he went back to sleep for a few seconds. When he woke up again, he said, "Ssshhhh.......ssshhhhooooooes!" Picture a drunken sailor, and you'll be pretty close! Every time he woke up after that, he asked for his "ssshhhh.....ssshhhhhoooooes!" Finally, the nurse got tired of his asking, and let us put his shoes on his feet. He went back to sleep with a smile on his face. Shoes meant he was going home, and that's all he needed to know!

A few years ago, when Jonathan was in the hospital in Houston, he had been moved from the Cardiovascular ICU to the Pediatric ICU, so we went from these private little rooms for sleeping at night to a wide open waiting room with recliners and blankets. My mom had come to stay with us, and decided that David needed to go to the Ronald McDonald House to get a good night's rest, and she and I were going to stay in the waiting room. Jonathan had started waking up more, and was usually awake in the middle of the night. He hated being by himself in his room, but parents couldn't sleep back there. So, Mom and I spent the night in the waiting room, close to Jonathan, when he needed us. This particular evening, I had stayed in Jonathan's room until about 11PM, then I went out to the waiting room. Our "beds" were right inside the door from the PICU area, so I walked in, and there sat my mom, with a smug look on her face. I asked her why she was smiling like that, and she said, "I changed my shirt right here! Took my bra off and everything! Nobody saw a thing, either." She was SO proud of herself for having accomplished this small feat, without having to traipse back to the restroom down the hall. After she told me what she had done, I looked up and, right above her chair, was a security camera! When I pointed it out to her, she and I burst into laughter. Then, we couldn't stop laughing! We'd get calmed down, then one of us would look up at the camera and start laughing again. Then, we'd both start up. This went on for a while. It's one of my favorite memories of that particular hospital stay! I wonder what the security guard who was monitoring the cameras thought, though?! We'll never know.....!

Last year, when Jonathan had to have his annual heart catheterization and biopsy, he told his cardiologist that he didn't want anything to calm his nerves before the procedure. Well, when the time came, he decided he DID want something for his nerves, so the nurse brought him a pill. David had stayed home with Jackson and was coming up as soon as the school bus picked him up. So, Jonathan's Youth Pastor, Keith, was there. Jonathan got in a hospital gown and took the pill, and then he sat in a chair for a few minutes. He was talking with us, and we prayed and were talking some more, and Jonathan looked at me and said, "I think I should lay on the bed now." I moved so we could switch places (I was sitting on the bed), and when he stood up, he smoothed the hospital gown in the front, looked at Keith and said, "Do you like my dress?! Isn't it pretty?!" Keith and I just looked at each other and smiled. When Jonathan was laying down in the bed, it was like he was in a completely different world. He started looking at everything around him, including his hospital bracelet. His doctor's name was on the bracelet, including a portion of his middle name---Tay. When Jonathan read that, he said, "Kimberling, Matthew Tay. Matthew Tay?! Who's that?!" Then, he decided it was funny! "Where's Tay-Tay?! Matthew Tay-Tay!!" It was one of those things that you just had to be there to see (as an aside, he has NO memory of doing this!). When he left for the Cath Lab with Gary, he was chirping about "G. Vance, R.N.," which made me laugh. It's so much easier to let your children go, if they aren't crying and teary at the separation point. Youth pastor's are a different matter. Keith was more un-done than I was. Proof to me that his heart is so toward our children. The year before, Jonathan had thrown up at Keith's feet, narrowly missing his shoes! Keith was brave enough to come back for a second helping last year.....and he genuinely wanted to be there for Jonathan.

So, while these memories may not be very funny to you, they still make me smile. Any port in a storm, right?! By the way, whatever sedative they gave Jonathan in the Cath Lab last year must have been GOOD stuff. The next day, Jonathan drew cartoon superheroes of "Dr. K" and "G. Vance, R.N." You'd have to see them to appreciate them, but let me tell you, he had a heightened sense of humor that day, too! I'm hoping for a cartoon drawing of "Mighty Mom" this year....